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A week in HollandI am back agian in Bangkok. It was really nice to have direct flights both ways. I didn't feel it was that long....eeer....just ate....slept....woke up and ate again....and then it was almost the landing time. I didn't sleep much on the way to Holland though because there were two babies took shifts in crying all the way from BKK to AMS.
It was really great to be back in Holland again. Nothing has change much. But I almost couldn't remember all the routes and felt strange with the traffic when biking. Anyway, I was the most happy to see my boyfriend at the airport again. Although we just met in Thailand last month, I already miss him so badly. It's always nice to be close together again...
So, that interview didn't work out and I didn't get to do a Ph.D. The first round of the interview went a little strange. It seems they are not so much interested in the fishery topic I purposed but more want to know me and why did I choose this topic. They seem to think I am Thai and don't know Dutch how come I want to study Dutch/EU fishery and how can I do the research because those fishermen are on the big boats in the sea. (I really have to say then how can the Dutch like to do their researches in Asia and Africa? This Chair Group doesn't have researches on fishery as far as I know. That might be the reason why they are not so interested and don't have much idea about how can it be significant...Though I think it will be good to expand their horizon. Oh well, it passed.) The last question of that interview was how much do I attach to my current proposal...At that time I wasn't so sure what that means so I said I was very open to adjust it to make it better as it is for sure not my last version. An hour later, I learn that the professor was interested in rice topic (System of Intensification Rice Farming/agricultural extionsion/innovation) and want to discuss about that in the second interview the next day. Ok, it is interesting and I really want to get the position because it means I get to do a research job which I kind of like, I know a bit what my future plan in Holland will be for the next few years, get a degree when finish, have an ok income for Dutch standard, and this might help regarding visa and regulations. So, I agreed to try although I know that I have not so much clear idea how to go about it. I tried to read and get more information and try to understand the issue....and most importantly I tried to get inspired by that topic....Ok, I found something but I really need more time to dig for info to say something about it...And that's absolutely what I don't have... "time". The next afternoon I have a talk and it was a disaster. I couldn't say anything so clear because I wasn't clear myself....and most of all I don't feel so inspired...I then really doubt if I can really do and want to do that for four years... I already have the feeling right after the interview that I won't get it.
And when it turned out to be that way, I don't even feel very sad that I didn't get it....though it was a pity and quite disappointing as I put so much effort in my frist proposal to get the position.
But!! It's ok. Life continues and I will have my next project...whatever that will be. I still have a lot on my mind. :)
I was already happy I could be with my boyfriend for a week, spent really nice time together, had incredible dinners, enjoyed walks and talks, met the Thai family in Wageningen again, and went window shopping for our new apartment....oh and we got a pot of such BEAUTIFUL orchid. Thanks honey!
Back to Holland after 2 yearsAfter I resigned, I had a lot of ideas what I might do in my life for the future. There are nothing for sure right now.
Anyway, it was a coincident that my former professor sent me the Ph.D. position openings right before I quitted. I think it was a good opportunity so I gave it a try. March was the month that I concentrated on writing a proposal to apply for a position at Wageningen University. I really spent a lot of time and efforts on it and the result was rather satisfying. I was invited by the university to go to Holland for a week to present my proposal to the committee.
In April, my boyfriend was here in Thailand for two weeks so that we can prepare our wedding together. We did a lot: arranging the hotel, photo shooting, selecting dresses/invitation cards/engagement & wedding jewelry, preparing souvenir and discussing on the over all arrangements.
Right now I am preparing again for the presentation and discussion for the position. I am scheduled to go to Holland on May 17, 09. I really have to thank my boyfriend for helping and supporting me a lot on this.
I don't know what is going to happen but if I get this position, it will give me a clearer path what I will do in the future, at least for some years.
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