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Thai values: Naam jai, Sam nuk boon khun and Ga tan yuuOkey, I continue with the book (Thailand Fever) for the part that talks about Thai values. First one is Naam jai (Generosity, courtesy, compassion).
Literally, Naam jai means "juice of the heart". It is the willingness to give others our time, resources, and attention just for the good feeling it generate in both (giver and taker). Thais judge themselves and others base on the degree to which they show Naam jai. A person who has Naam jai will not ask something for return and do it for good will. Showing concerns for another's welfare is also Naam jai.
Although it is not directly expected, we feel that when we do good deed, in the long term there will be good results either to us or to others. (the rule of Khama in Buddhism)
From a Thai perspective, it gives people self-esteem to be generous. (Unless they are particularly cosmopolitan) The Thais you meet will assume that you are like them, and that you too will derive your self-esteem from your demonstrate of Naam jai. For example, your gf is proud of you and wants to show you off as a generous person. Without asking you directly, she may give you opportunity to be generous and told her friends that you will take of the dinner. She assumes that you will want to show your generousity by paying for all her friends.
Westerners hates this type of behavior and see it as shameless manipulation. They start to wonder does she see me as a sugar daddy? Remember, they just have different value, not trying to take advantage of you. They do the same with Thai man who they think might be able and happy to help.
Many Westerners who struggle day-by-day over wherther or not they are a sugar daddy suddenly let go when, one day, they are surprised to find themselves at the receiving end of Naam jai from their partner or her family-generosity and care delivered in ways they had never imagined.
Westerners are taught from birth that it's a cutthroat world where "life is not fair", nobody does your favors, and you must fend for yourself. It's hard for them to believe that there can be a functioning society where people value giving to others more then they value independence or mateiral success for themselves. "So far, in this relationship, all I see is that my money is flowing out! What will guarantee that I will ever get something back?"
Sam nuk boon khun and Ga tan yuu
Sam nuk (=Appreciate, recognize, aware of)
Boon khun (when you do other "favors", you have Boon khun to them...they feels indebt to you)
Sam nuk boon khun is to appreciate and repay favors that other people do for you.
What makes a Naam jai- based society able to survive is the Boon khun system, specifically the value of Sam nuk boon khun. It is the balancing element that makes the system works.
Example: Lek have Naam jai to help Gung find a job in her office. Lek didn't ask anything from Gung for return. Gung Sam nuk boon khun Lek, remind herself of this kindness, and makes commitment to make herself available to repay Lek's favor when Lek needs something. So, Gung happily offered to do overtime work when Lek can use an extra hand without Lek asking. After Gung did extra work to repay Lek. Now Suppose that Lek still has another urgent work and ask Gung to help. If Gung were a typical Westerner, she might get annoyed and think "Wait a minute, I have paid my debt and enough is enough. It's Lek's problem, not mine. Now she is taking advantage of me." But Gung is Thai so she would come in as many weekends as she possibly can, because she also wants to show her Naam jai to Lek. And Gung knows that Lek will also reciprocate her good deeds in the same way.
This type of commitment to reciprocate assures that a person who shows Naam jai will be remembered and returned when the time comes. It is rather complex for Westerners and they can't easily understand why Thais are engaging themselves in these confusing and never ending web of debt and repay.
Westerners have different views. As they need independency, Thais, in contrast, take joy in seeing the world as a web of independencies. Thai society is a cycle of Naam jai and Sam nuk boon khun supporting each other. People do favors out of Naam jai and do not ask anything in return. But then people who received the favour will Sam nuk boon khun and voluntarily make themselves available to help the giver in return. The system works, simply because Thai society do honor the system and return their debts. People who do not have Naam jai and not Sam nuk boon khun of other are condemned.
This dept (or Boon khun) has started since the day they were born. When this Sam nuk boon khun is so huge, we call it "Ga tan yuu"
Ga tan yuu is the feeling towards someone who has made incomparable contribution to your life. In Thai, that definitely includes you father and mother (they gave you your life) and your teachers (they gave you your knowledge), or someone who saved your life like a doctor. You personally feel a great debt to them. Thai child is very patient with and forgiving their parents.
Westerners have a vaguely similar idea but it goes the other way around. Western parents are expected to show unconditional love to their children. They can discipline them but they must endure their children misbehavior as disrecpect as part of the duty of being parents. This idea really bewiders Thais. Why would parents feel an obligation towards their children since the parents are the ones who gave them life and raised them. It's because Westerner do not have the concept of Ga tan yuu. The Western reasoning: "Our child doesn't chose to be born. It is not fair to him if we keep nagging him about how much work it was to raise him."
Thai children who honor thier responsibility to show Ga tan yuu want to support their parents and to see to it that their parents are happy. If it's not possible, at least they want to avoid causing trouble or ashame their parents. That's the goal.
WorkaholicYeah I know I said I was going to write something about the Thai value. I haven't got to do that yet!
People start to think I am a workaholic as I work too much. I know I need to balance my life better. Oh things are easier said than done.
During weekend I also study Dutch. It is not too difficult (except the pronounciation) and I can learn quickly.
By the way, I just added some pictures from the Singapore trip I went with my boss. It was my first international business trip. That sounds cool. But it's too bad that I haven't seen any special place there except their conference rooms. Well, that's ok I got an experience.
Singapore is very green even though it doesn't have so much space. I really like the way they plant such huge trees along road sides. It is very international country. So many foreigners.
I am getting sleepy now and can't think of anything to write more....ah, tired....
night night
PS Ok some more pictures from the Thailand ICT Award 2008 event are added also. Our product is Biology Battle. It is our first game! I am not sure if we will get any prize as there is so much competition but it was a good experience to try something like this. Let's keep your fingers cross! This Thursday 9th Oct the prize will be announced. |
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