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One month homeOne month....
It is both slow and fast.
When I was still in Holland, I thought I will give myself a rest for a month and go travel wherever I want to go. But once I am back, I don't feel like going....mostly because I am a bit too much family oriented....when I think I will have to go alone and enjoy things alone...and that's not so much fun/nice for me....I would be rather lonely and wish that people I love would be there with me too....
Anyway, we (my parents and I) managed to go to Kampangphet and Tak. It was very nice and I was happy with that.
I was also thinking I should rest...well, I couldn't do that either....I always have to do some things.....After sattled down back in the house, I was actually more concentrated on finding a good job/further study than resting... My first thought was that I wanted to go back to Holland for PhD. I tried but that wasn't so successful and it depends on many different factors. I guess maybe it is not yet the right time for me to do that. I also sent out applications for jobs. I got interviews and job offers. Most of the time opportunities come at the same time and you have to decide. Once you get an offer, it is either take it or decline. Now the decision time... You can't wait. You don't know the future. Is this job nice? Will you get a "better" offer/ job? But if you decline, will you regret?.....you never know. I guess after you think hard about all the reasons to accept and to decline....in the end it is just a matter of reasoning, feeling, timing and luck....in combination.
When you are satisfied with what you have got, just say "yes". If not, wait....The opportunity will come, if you seek for it.
I can only do my very best....then Que Sera Sera.
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Time and Distance
This month has passed. I experience the feeling that is almost unbearable. It is an undescribable feeling of missing something so essential for happiness.
Each night....I can't force myself to leave this table till it is midnight and I don't know how often I woke up with sore eyes as I was crying too hard in bed the night before.
Year Summary2005
August: Arrived Holland
September: School started...new environment, new place (Dijkgraaf), everything was strange, weird Dutch people, funny Dutch language, studied hard to catch up in classes, many difficult assignments, try try try and try, home sick.
October: Dinners with Thai friends. Bike riding. Travel. Getting cold. dark & gray weather, I was wondering how can I survive here. Depressed. Got sick alone in a room, more home sick...Soon examination...need to prepare but still a lot of assignments.
November: Snow. Corridor sometimes frustration, sometimes nice. Lonely. Cook, eat, gained weight. Travel Germany. Second period...struggling.
December: Exam again. Still dinner with friends. End period 2. Break. Travel. very cold. Got a visit. New Year, Christmas.
2006
January: Tried to learn French but didn't work.
February: Birthday. Another year past (26).
March: Moved to Bob's house 21 March: Loss of bike key in the pitch.
April: Spring arrives. Beautiful flowers. A new friend.
May: Bike accident. Last subject. 11 May Pancake. End of May: confusion started.
June: Finished all courses, worked on research proposal.
4 am 1 July: Confession. Tried to work things out. End of July: Maastricht. Noticed.
August: Difficult time. Proposal almost finish. End of August: Rijksmuseum.
September: Stayed in attic. Finished proposal. Arranged to go home. 19 September: A shell With Love. 21 September: Back to Thailand for internship and thesis data collection.
October: Khon Kaen Internship. Chapter 1.
November: Stronger feelings & bond
December: To Kalasin internship.
2007
January: Thesis data collection
February: Finish data collection. Another Birthday (27). 21 Feb back to Holland. Wait.
9 March: Laurent back. Chapter 2. 16-21 March Paris.
April: Deeply in love. Thesis work. AMC.
May: Precious time. Thesis work.
June: Getting closer and closer. Thesis work. Finished AMC. Final presentation.
July: Last part of thesis. Sad, going home soon. Intimacy. Walked Ruby.
August. Finished thesis. Moved out from Bob. 9-15 August: Barcelona! and Chapter 3. 17-20 Aug Stayed at Lisa's place. Move to cottage. Final thesis grade. Incredible time.
September: Busy 3 September: Mum in Holland. 6-7 Sep Brussel 8 Sep Brother in Holland. 14 Sep Leaved Holland. 28 Sep Graduation
October: Seek for job. Hard time being far away.
November: New job
Never give upI read something interesting on the web. I like it so I would like to share them with you.
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He did not speak until he was 4-years-old and did not read until he was 7. His parents thought he was "sub-normal," and one of his teachers described him as "mentally slow, unsociable, and adrift forever in foolish dreams." He was expelled from school and was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. He did eventually learn to speak and read. Even to do a little math. He was Albert Einstein!
He was told by his music teacher that as a composer, he was hopeless. He was Beethoven! He was fired by a newspaper because he had "no good ideas". He was Walt Disney!
Van Gogh sold only one painting during his life. And this to the sister of one of his friends for 400 francs (approximately $50). This didn't stop him from completing over 800 paintings. He was told by his teacher that he was too stupid to learn anything. He was fired from his first two jobs for being "non-productive" as an inventor. This man was Thomas Edison! He made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, "How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?" Edison replied, "I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps."
Henry Ford's first 2 automobile businesses failed. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. He observed, "I've failed over and over again in my life. That is why I succeed." Stephen Spielburg dropped out of high school as a sophomore. He was persuaded to come back and was placed in a learning disabled class. He lasted a month. Ray Krok failed as a real estate salesperson before discovering the idea for McDonald's. Charles Darwin was told by his father, "You care for nothing but shooting, dogs and rat catching." In his autobiography, Darwin wrote, "I was considered by all my masters and my father, a very ordinary boy, rather below the common standard of intellect." Clearly, he evolved.
As a young man, Abraham Lincoln went to war a captain and returned a private. Afterwards, he was a failure as a businessman. As a lawyer in Springfield, he was too impractical and temperamental to be a success. He turned to politics and was defeated in his first try for the legislature, again defeated in his first attempt to be nominated for congress, defeated in his application to be commissioner of the General Land Office, defeated in the senatorial election of 1854, defeated in his efforts for the vice-presidency in 1856, and defeated in the senatorial election of 1858. At about that time, he wrote in a letter to a friend, "I am now the most miserable man living. If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family, there would not be one cheerful face on the earth."
Winston Churchill failed sixth grade. He was subsequently defeated in every election for public office until he became Prime Minister at the age of 62. He later wrote, "Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never, Never, Never, Never give up." (his capitals, mind you)
Socrates was called "an immoral corrupter of youth" and continued to corrupt even after a sentence of death was imposed on him. He drank the hemlock and died corrupting.
Sigmund Freud was booed from the podium when he first presented his ideas to the scientific community of Europe. He returned to his office and kept on writing.
"You always pass failure on the way to success." Micky Rooney
"Only those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly." Robert F. Kennedy
"Our achievements speak for themselves. What we have to keep track of are our failures, discouragements, and doubts. We tend to forget the past difficulties, the many false starts, and the painful groping. We see our past achievements as the end result of a clean forward thrust, and our present difficulties as signs of decline and decay." Eric Hoffer
"No matter how hard you work for success, if your thought is saturated with the fear of failure, it will kill your efforts, neutralize your endeavors and make success impossible." Baudjuin
ทุกคนเคยแพ้
"I learned something from that experience that I think is very important. When we first start anything, we're very likely to be awkward, uncomfortable, terrible at it and people will probably laugh at us. A lot of times we don't start things because we're afraid we might start out so badly. Well, we can cast aside our fear: I can put that worry to rest right now: We WILL start out badly. It happens to just about everybody when they start on something new....Since, when we begin anything that requires any skill or creativity at all, we're going to be making mistakes right and left, the only road to accomplishing our goal is through making mistakes, is through failing....
Buckminster Fuller said that parents kill off the genius of their children by making them afraid of making mistakes. When you're afraid of making mistakes, you initiate fewer actions, and when you initiate fewer actions you don't fail as much, but you also don't learn as much. Being afraid of making mistakes prevents you from becoming as good as you could be. That must be why Thomas Watson said, "The way to succeed is to double your failure rate." Watson was working for a company called National Cash Register, otherwise known as NCR, when he was fired. This was a failure. But he vowed that he would develop a company that would dwarf NCR some day. He went on to create a company called International Business Machines, otherwise known as IBM. Watson once gave some advice to a writer who was discouraged because so many publishers had rejected his manuscripts. Watson told him, "You're making a common mistake. You're thinking of failure as the enemy of success. Every one of those manuscripts was rejected for a reason. Have you pulled them to pieces looking for a reason? You've got to put failure to work for you. Go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember, that's where you'll find success — on the far side of failure." "Fear nothing," said Katherine Tingley, "for every renewed effort raises all former failures into lessons, all sins into experience." Every time you pick yourself up and try again, you transform your failure into a lesson. Remember that quote as you listen to an ironic true story of a clergyman in his fifties. One of the major goals of this clergyman was to get his manuscript published as a book. He kept sending it to publishers, but all he got back were rejection notices. One day he finally had it. He gave up. In defeat, he threw his manuscript in the trash. His wife knew how much that manuscript meant to him, so she reached into the wastebasket to pull it out. "We've wasted enough time on it," he told his wife, "I forbid you to take it out of there." The next day she was thinking about it and she got an idea. She took the manuscript, still inside the wastebasket, to another publisher on her own. The publisher was intrigued by this unusual way to bring in a manuscript, so he read it. And he published it. And boy is he glad he did! The book sold 15 million copies and is still selling. The clergyman is none other than Dr. Norman Vincent Peale. The book is The Power of Positive Thinking. Good thing for Norman his wife used the power of positive thinking and didn't give up. You know what kills a lot of aspirations? Impatience. Big obstacles didn't kill the dream. Impatience did." Source: Adam Khan (http://www.youmeworks.com/never_give_up.html)
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